Two Sides to the Story

I had the privilege of attending the first annual Silicon Slopes Tech Summit on Thursday and Friday. The whole concept of the event was centered around building up the work that is being done in the tech industry here in the state of Utah. It's remarkable how quickly Utah based tech businesses are creating something we can really be proud of. There were panel discussions and interesting presentations. CEOs of remarkable and internationally renowned companies spoke about how they got their start, what inspires them, etc. I kept hearing the same themes over and over. One theme in particular stands out to me: we want more women in tech! How do we get more women in tech?

I think this question falls along the lines of a more broad question: how do we get more women involved in corporate America? How do we close the wage gap? How do we shatter the glass ceiling?

My thoughts are these...in a jumbled and not well researched format:

It feels like part of the wage gap is because women are punished for being mothers. There are probably plenty of women in corporate America who don't care to climb the latter. There are probably plenty that want to climb the latter and don't care to have children. These are not the women I'm talking about. I'm talking about the women who want to have both. Who are told by successful companies who are expanding and hiring "we want you" and on the other side of that coin are told "if you're a mother, your children should always come first".

Having your children "come first" is a complicated topic. I'm not sure it's possible to address what that means for every women. However, I see it this way: women who have full time jobs are often seen as having made sacrifices of time and attention to their children. Putting them in daycare, working from home and giving them "too much" screen time or too little attention, hiring a nanny to "raise" them, etc. These sacrifices are difficult to navigate because it's hard to truly assess what is lost for each individual child, if anything, by not having a mom at home.

Let's also assume, for the sake of discussion, that women who are in the work force with children who are all of school age and in school full time are not facing the same struggles as mothers of younger children. While their struggles are certainly valid, the discussion I want to have is how mothers of young children are sacrificing time with their babies with unknown consequences if they choose to be in the work force.

These two sides of the coin are: you're a talented and driven woman who is wanted in the work force. You're a talented and driven woman who is wanted at home. Society seems to tell us that we have to choose. Society tells us that moms specifically should be home with their kids. Society asks the working mom "what do you do with _____ while you're at work?" I doubt anyone asks my husband what he does with our child while he's at work. It's assumed that I'm the one at home. I think this is what makes it difficult to recruit talent and hold onto talented women through child bearing and early child rearing years. It's a very real struggle to juggle both.

Or is it? One of two things could happen: society could change the way it talks to women about being with their young children OR corporate America can change they way they talk to women about being in the work force.

Now, to be fair, I have long held that we credit women with having these struggles but often overlook the dads. I'm sure there are many fathers who are pained to spend so much time away from home. They'd much rather be around their little ones full time. If money were no object, they would be. Nobody asks them how it is being away from the kids. Nobody asks them how they feel about the sacrifices they make to build a successful career. I don't want to ignore that but, again, this is not what I truly want to address.

What if large companies figured out a way to accommodate mothers of young children? To supply every woman's bathroom with a nursing/ pumping room equipped with a private refrigerator. To have on site daycare and preschool (where the families would be financially responsible for their child's/children's care/ early education). Better paid leave for both parents. Flexibility in the schedule that accommodates doctors appointments, pick up from school, etc. The good news is that many companies are starting to offer this kind of support. It's still ironic to me that when it comes to trends in perks offered by large companies so many have turned to on site fitness centers and fully stocked snack kitchens. Who the #e11 cares?! Help me be there for my kid.

Thanks for letting me ramble.