Wednesday, July 26, 2023

18 Summers

There's a lot of sentimental people who point out that "you only get 18 summers with your kids" and there's been research that shows that you spend your greatest portion of time with small children when your own kids are little and that amount dramatically tapers off as they grow- which seems obvious yet, when you step back a sense of urgency builds and the "mom guilt" kicks in. Are we spending enough time with our kids? Do I yell too much? Are they turning into good humans? This summer I'm trying to let go of all of the second guessing and simply do my best. Before Scott and I went on our week long vacation to Long Beach and a cruise I implemented a "checklist" for the boys. Here's the list: Get dressed Brush teeth Brush hair (mostly for Patrick as he is growing his hair out and it looks like a frizzy disaster most of the time) tidy living room tidy bedroom cleaning task practice piano for Patch fill up Dinah's food and water bowls for Max Typically it takes us until about 1:00 to get through this list. I'll make breakfast and let the boys play until they start fighting. When they stop getting along I say "ohp, let's get going on our tasks" which is probably not the best strategy. I don't want them to feel like cleaning is "punishment". I try to position it like "well, I think we need to separate and focus our energy on getting through our daily checklist". Who knows if that's working. They'll probably talk about it in therapy one day. Just add it to the list. The good news is, I'm feeling much less overwhelmed by our home. I've been trying to declutter and while I've slowed down my concentrated efforts on decluttering I'm still feeling more and more at peace at home. I'm trying to lay the foundation for the kids that we are a family. We work together to take care of the space that we share and I feel like we talk through this "why" all the time. It feels like I'm doing the right thing. Aside from our daily checklists we have been having LOTS of fun with Katelyn and Erik's wedding, our cruise, a road trip to Idaho, a quick overnight camp trip near Nephi, hosting a 4th of July party at my parents, hosting a 24th of July party at our house, attending the somewhat annual 24th of July party (on the 22nd) at Brad and LuAnns, paddleboarding on Deer Creek, Lagoon with Madie and Eva, a birthday shopping spree with Madie and Eva at Savers (an annual tradition), hosting an outdoor movie, a couple trips to Get Air, the drive in movie with Kathie, Taylorsville Dayz, and a bit more. It's been a fun and busy summer...possibly one among the 18 that will stand out. Possibly not. I just hope these kids know we love them a whole heck of a lot.