In early March, we lost my grandmother Katherine Warren. Here's all the details on that experience:
I went to California for the weekend at the end of February. I had a $200 travel voucher from a cancelled flight last April that I needed to use within a year and some of my old high school friends happened to be getting together for our drama teacher/ director's last opening night. That weekend was a treasure. It was quite stressful though because on the Thursday night/ early Friday morning, my grandmother fell and broke her hip. Thus began a rapid decline in her health and we lost her less than two weeks later. I was heart broken to not be with her that weekend, her first couple of days in the hospital. When I got back into town, I went to see Grandma in the rehab facility the hospital released her to. She was not fully aware of her situation or what had happened. She kept talking about how she wanted out and told me that my church was going to punish me for putting her in there. She asked me if I would do this to my mother. I think she thought we had done something awful to her. It was so sad. Everyone kept telling me that she was just coming down from the drugs and not to worry. I told myself that she would be ok.
On Wednesday I took another trip but this time for work. My company had a meeting in Spokane for 2 days and we all travelled to be there. It was such an incredible event. Lots of production value that I was not expecting to come from a sales meeting however, I was distracted. I had my phone on me at all times and was getting text messages throughout the day. Updates on Grandma, messages to my cousin's wives setting up meals to be prepared for my parents as my aunt and uncle had not yet arrived to relieve my parents, planning how to best advocate for Grandma's care.
I got back to town on Thursday night. On Friday I went to visit my parents and work from Provo. On Saturday, we visited again and had a nice meal as a family. I was able to go to the hospital and spend some alone time with Grandma. She was a little swollen and couldn't talk super well but, I brought her curling iron and did her hair. I always liked to spruce grandma up and make her feel good. Even when I was in middle school and high school, I often painted Grandma's nails and we took turns doing each other's hair. Grandma always did really lovely up-dos for me. She talked about how ladies never left the house without having their hair beautifully coifed. Anyway, on Saturday, I did her hair and found a mirror for her to tell me how she liked it. She seemed pleased and seemed to feel a bit better. That night, after dinner, I brought my mom's ukulele to Grandma's room and played "As Time Goes By". We both loved that song and several years ago, the second year I was in BYU's Big Band Night, that was my solo. Grandma Kathie and Scott's Grandpa Burke were both there. That night was so special. We had an incredible time dancing and laughing together. Then, I sung "Dream" for her. It was her song with Grandpa Don. I didn't have the ukulele tabs for that one so I sang it a cappella:
Dream, that's the thing to do
Just watch the smoke rings rise in the air
You'll find your share of memories there
So, dream when the day is through
Dream, and they might come true
Things never are as bad as they seem
So dream, dream, dream
Things never are as bad as they seem
So dream, dream, dream
I only got to the end of the first phrase before forgetting the words. She remembered and started to sing them for me. Ana and Brent were both there. Eyes filled with tears. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life. My precious grandmother singing with me. So old and weak. So tired from all the pulling and the tugging at the hospital. Drained from surgery, recovery, being moved from hospital to recovery center to hospital again. She sang with me.
On Sunday night, after a family dinner, my cousin's wife Dani and I stayed with Grandma through the night. We wanted someone from the family there with her at all times so that we could report changes in her behavior that the nurses might miss. She didn't say much. The nurses came in to ensure that she took her medication and to give her a catheter. It was a difficult experience for her and she did not like being fussed with. She did not want to take her medication because she said that it tasted nasty. I told her we could get her something to wash it down or replace that flavor. We told her we couldd get her anything she wanted and she said "chocolate". Dani happened to bring chocolates and that did the trick. Grandma loved chocolate. When grandma was getting her new catheter, to distract her, I asked her to squeeze my hand. She happened to notice that I was wearing bright red lipstick that day and complimented it. When the catheter became particularly painful and she was wailing out in pain, I distracted her with talk about her favorite movie Gone with the Wind and her favorite of Scarlett's dresses (the curtain one). She settled into sleep quite suddenly and so did we. Early the next morning, I headed home and to work.
We were back in Provo again on Monday night as Grandma was put on hospice care later that day and we were told it wouldn't be long. The Warren boys all returned from Vegas that night and said their goodbyes. I said mine. It was so hard to leave that night. I knew it wouldn't be long. So many precious moments that night. Lots of tears and even a few laughs. The Warren boys put on the game show TV channel for Grandma because they knew how she liked it. She was sharp as a tack even to day she fell. It breaks my heart that I didn't get to have just one last visit with her. At Christmas I know we had a great visit and laughed and laughed. I can't remember what about but, she was a sassy lady and always made me laugh.
She passed the next day and we held her funeral the following Monday. Scott lost his job on Tuesday. We lost Scott's grandfather on Saturday the 25th, basically two weeks after my grandmother.
April feels like a fresh start. The first quarter of 2017 has been one for the books. The "Series of Unfortunate Events" ones though...not like a romance novel or something fluffy and light and happy. As my good friend Tony would say, it's been "full of suck". So, I'm hoping that April and the rest of this year will have less suck.
Spring, they say, is a time for new beginnings and fresh starts. I can feel it. We really have accomplished so much so far this year. LOTS of house projects. Lots of new stuff to experience with little Patch Man. Lots of things to be grateful for.
I'm so grateful for the legacy of Katherine Warren. I'm proud to carry her name. Michelle Katherine Moore. Every time I sign it now, it feels different. Now that Katherine Warren is gone. Or, maybe she isn't truly gone. I know this, pieces of her live on in so many of us whose lives she touched. She was spunky, always up for cookies and treats, generous, a story teller, a true lady, honest, and just absolutely wonderful.
Love you Grandma. 
