Future Plans

Scott and I celebrated 10 years of marriage/ his 35th birthday two weekends ago. Yes, yes, we celebrated a bit early. I figured that by the time August rolls around I'll be pretty uncomfortable so, the idea of trying to get away and celebrate then didn't sound very appealing. Anyway, the 10 years of marriage milestone has given me pause to think quite often about what life was like 10 years ago and what it might be like 10 years from now. My dad always likes to point out that no matter what, time will go by. So, where do you want to be? I decided quietly several months ago to pursue nursing. It's something that's been in the back of my mind since I was in high school. Nursing has always been a top carreer option for me and for a while was my absolute number one. I even recently stumbled across a Facebook post I made in May of 2012, just after graduating from BYU. I listed some top career options. 1: Disney Princess 1a: teacher 2: nurse. Even after I finished my degree I was leaning toward nursing. I'm not certain why teaching took the lead there upon graduation. Perhaps it was because the barrier to entry seemed easier and the job seemed more managable as a mom which I knew was something I wanted to be eventually. Anyway, I have a lot of healthcare workers in my life: my sister in law, her husband, their daughter, two of my cousins, one of my dearest friends. I've observed as they've grown or begun to grow their careers. I've observed as they've balanced parenting/motherhood and nursing. The Pandemic has brought some things to light 1: healthcare workers are overworked and underpaid and I see (read hope for) some major changes in our country's health care system in the coming years. 2: Learning became primarily remote- even the nursing students were doing their labs and simulations and many of their clinicals remotely (my CNA course was almost fully online with a lab dedicated to just me when I wanted to go pass off things etc) 3: in a short while I will be ready to rejoin the workforce full time and contribute to my family's financial goals (when our youngest, about to be born, enters school full time).3: rarely is one "just a stay at home mom". To those that are- amazing. Wonderful. I support them. I filled my first year of being a SAHM with all kinds of enriching activities for the kids. Patrick is a busy kid and needs lots of stimulation that I alone wasn't able to give him so we saught out play dates and zoo trips and an aquarium pass and a "joy school" with some neighborhood moms. We took basically weekly trips to Costco and had many little activities keeping us busy and entertained and happy. Then the pandemic hit. Scott was furloughed. I was in talks about starting a theater with some friends. I was working part time as a broker. But for the most part, all of that was at home and yet, I was hustling. I kept looking around at so many of the women around me and realized that many of them are actually juggling a side hustle of some kind. I was feeling guilty about wanting to work part time or even considering it but then I realized- so many of these "influencer" types on the internet ARE working. So many of my SAHM friends build side businesses. I enjoy being busy. When I wasn't out and about with the kids, I busied myself in other ways and boom, around October/November it hit me like a ton of bricks- now is the time to pursue nursing. So, while the immediate future holds the birth of our 3rd child, a baby that we're almost certain we will be naming Clara Charlene, I'll be applying for nursing school in a year and continuing to broker and working part time as a CNA between now and then. A big wrench in things- covid is RAGING once again. I had visions of this fall, of course I had lots of plans initially. I made the decision to do nursing and then very shortly after I got pregnant (very intentionally mind you) but you just never know how the timing is going to work out on these things. So, I had it in my mind that I would take my CNA course, start working, have the baby, apply for nursing school and start in the fall. Bahahahahahahahahaha. That was silly. Nobody really told me "Michelle,) that's crazy". Well, I have one dear friend who kind of did but she eventually just kind of accepted my craziness. Anyway, I dove into the CNA thing. Kept brokering. Enrolled in my final prerequisite (introductory biology) and kept growing a baby...oh and mothering/ being a decent wife and half way decent friend. 6 months goes by and here we are. I'm 5 weeks away from delivering this baby, officially a CNA for about 90 days now, done with that biology class (managed a solid B grade- go me!) and covid is raging. I layed some plans for the fall but after doing 6 months of school realized that full time school and part time work and family life- especially with a brand new baby- aren't going to work well together. Further, COVID feels like it's doing its thing and adding another fun layer of complication to all aspects of life. Particularly, I don't feel super good about sending Maxwell to "preschool" now- now that I'm not doing school full time along with part time CNA and broker work and especially not now with COVID. So, my three mornings a week of quiet time with just baby at home aren't looking possible but, I'm feeling ok about it. Keeping Maxwell home feels like the right choice now. But holy crum buckets things have evolved quite a lot over the last 6 mos but it feels meant to be.